so that wasnt chicken after all
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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