i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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