Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We don't watch enough power rangers
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
