She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
