: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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