it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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