He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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