hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
