Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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