Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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