I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
