what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
