The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize