ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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