I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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