I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
