In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
