i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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