so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
