I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
