so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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