you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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