Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
