Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
