North Korea, Best Korea!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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