Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
