i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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