I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
