College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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