Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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