I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize