So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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