Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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