wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
