and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
