can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
