Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
