I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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