i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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