No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
