My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize