hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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