ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
