I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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