Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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