If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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