Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Randomize
