Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
