CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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