i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
