the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I cut my penus on the lid.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
