Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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