weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
