either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
