I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
