They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Do you have feelings for this penis?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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