spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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