You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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