Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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