Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
