OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
