She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And then my night got REAL pukey
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
