Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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